Sally TS Counselling

Adolescents and Young People

I enjoy working with teenagers over 16 and young adults and have found therapy with this age group to be particularly rewarding and effective.

Many adolescents feel angry, confused and abandoned and they can benefit enormously from a non-judgmental relationship with a counsellor where they can talk freely about what is bothering them.

Adolescents often need help understanding and making sense of their thoughts and feelings and recognising that other people may have different reactions and responses to their own. By taking the time to really listen to young people and hear their stories with a mix of no nonsense and compassion I can help young people feel less alone and more confident about their skills, abilities and qualities thus improving self-esteem and fostering resilience to cope with life’s inevitable challenges.

The internet, smartphones and social media now play a massive part in all our lives and adolescents with their young developing brains and ‘teenage insecurities’ can quickly and easily become very distracted and at worst addicted to the piece of technology in their pocket. They are naturally wired at this time in their lives to want to be accepted within their peer group and to avoid personal shaming either online or in person from their peers.

I highly recommend all parents read Jonathan Haidt’s ‘The Anxious Generation’ in which he details with rigorous studies and research how the ‘great rewiring of childhood’ is causing an epidemic of mental illness. He also highlights a second shift that has emerged alongside the rapid technological changes in the last 15 years or so, and possibly exacerbated by the Covid Pandemic of 2019 and that is the shift towards over-protecting children and restricting their autonomy in the real world.

In my experience this is also a major factor in the increasing levels of anxiety among teenagers as ‘over protecting children and adolescents prevents them from having experiences and challenges that build resilience and healthy self-esteem. Teens need to know that they can cope and succeed on their own without their parents or their parents’ anxiety ‘hovering’ over them.

Ideally teens also need to learn to appreciate nature and solitude, to have time to dream, time to play and be creative and time to work out for themselves with guidance from trusted adults where their strengths and unique qualities lie.

Adolescence is often a confusing and difficult time. Transitioning from childhood to adulthood is not easy as we attempt to separate out from our parents and discover our passion and purpose in the world. Peer pressure and the desire to fit in is strong and if we experience the loss of a close family member, mental or physical illness or divorce within our family we can find life, academic pressure and relationships particularly challenging, especially if there are no compassionate understanding adults who have time for us. We might find ourselves struggling with issues connected to our identity and gender; our sexuality or physical appearance.

Physically and psychologically it is a time of great change and for the first-time relationships outside the family become more important. Our friendships and first sexual relationship can be fraught with insecurities that can leave a lasting imprint. Exam pressure, peer pressure, university pressure - too many people on our back - it can all feel too much and we long for some respite or freedom from what we see as endless rules and restrictions on our development.

Depression, eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia, self-harming or other punitive behaviours or attempts to control the unfair, chaotic world we find ourselves in can make us feel very lonely, ashamed and/or isolated. There may be the lure of a gang or involvement or addiction to harmful drugs such as alcohol, cannabis or MDMA.

Parents might be unavailable or too busy to provide us with the guidance or support that we need.

I provide you with compassionate understanding as well as 'a sounding board' for the angst or anger that can build up against parents or step-parents or other authority figures such as teachers.

If anything, your read above resonates and you would like to get in touch I am here to help.