• Sally Turberville Smith Dipl. Psych, BA Hons,

    MBACP, UKCP

    Counselling & Psychotherapy Nutritional/Lifestyle Coaching

    Willesden Green, NW2

  • Intimate relationships present us with huge challenges to grow and extend ourselves beyond our personal egos. Significantly the kind of relationship we have with ourself provides insight into the type of relationship we can expect to have with another.

    Whether you are struggling in your current relationship or wishing you could meet someone to share your life with I can help you transform a current relationship or help you find the relationship that is right for you.

    Sometimes we might struggle to find a loving relationship because we are still seeking the love we missed out on in our family of origin.  If our parents were absent for whatever reason and/or emotionally unavailable we might idealise our partners or project our unmet attachment needs on to them.  We might also have difficulties with our boundaries and managing our dependency needs.  Either we feel we need to be completely self-reliant or we find that our emotional neediness or insecurity may overwhelm our partners especially as is likely we have unconsciously chosen someone emotionally unavailable like one of our primary caregivers.  In essence we find it extremely difficult to fully embrace our vulnerability and know that we are worthy of love and belonging.

    If you are in a relationship and having difficulty in any area I offer couple counselling to help you gain a more balanced perspective on what you may currently consider your partner's shortcomings and obstacles to feeling happy and secure in your relationship.  It is not easy rubbing up against our 'rough edges', brought starkly into the light by our other halves and it takes courage to admit that we might be asking of our partners something that we ought to be asking of ourselves.  If we are not happy with ourselves we will not find someone else to make us happy.  We all have vulnerable places where we have been wounded in our childhoods that can make it very difficult for us to admit that we might need to grow up in order to allow the one we love to be who she or he is.

    Relationship work asks us to reflect on the dynamics of our family of origin and what we have learnt about being in relationship from our parents.  We also need to examine our notions of masculinity and femininity and our beliefs about power, vulnerability and control.  Whether you are coming alone or as a couple my aim is to provide you with a safe, non-judgmental place where you can explore your relationship and your part in it with honesty and compassion.